Decisions, decisions...

Get this... I'm sitting in an Allgemeine Psychologie lecture... the lecturer has certain slides on the screen, but keeps talking about something else... I'm also sick... so can't really understand anything that's going on. But thanks to the WIFI I can log onto the World Wide Web and crawl around like a spider.

Thank you guys for everyone who commented and emailed. ...

Zoich... talk to you tonight!
Anch ... I miss you too!!! Thank you for being your wonderful self. or ish...
Olchik... allright... more personal stuff - been dreaming of snakes again... the other night woke up screaming - means I'm feeling guilty about smth. Worked out why I was feeling guilty and decided that I shouldn't feel guilty about it. So last night had another dream with snakes, but these were in cages, so I actually slept through it... progress. This usually happens when I'm really stressed. PS: where in US are you going to be? PPS: degree stuff follows...
Julia... the problem with us is that we do need to produce a more long term plan... because my professional life depends on it... that's why we kind of need to decide this now. I'll explain...
Tanya... we thought about doing a pro's and con's list... but there are almost equal amount of pro's and con's at either Berlin or Melbourne... And the gut... well the gut tells me to come back... but the reason says I shouldn't go just by my gut. Actually after talking intensively about this for the last couple of days we've managed to confuse ourselves what was originally our gut feel :)

So what things are there that are important for us:

1. my degree... here I'm enrolled for a Bachelor of Psych, which takes 3 years, and then I'd have to do another 2 years Masters = 5 years. In Melbourne I'm still enrolled into a Grad Dip in Psych (but this is the last year for which I can get academic leave, so if we stay in Berlin now my place will be gone - which is why this decision issue came up right in this time), which now I can do in one year full time, plus 1 year Honours, and 2 years Masters = 4 years. On one hand the course here is free, in Australia I'll prolly end up paying close to 50,000-100,000 in HECS/HELP/WHATEVERITSCALLEDNOW . On the other hand there is no guarantee that the Berlin course will get accredited in Australia, which will mean that on top of these 5 years I'll have to study another... 1-2-3-4-5 years... That of course if we come back to Australia in a couple of years from now.

2. real estate... here we can buy a flat relatively cheaply and pay it off in about 10 years... in Australia it looks close to impossible, and this is something that is fairly important to us together.

3. then of course there are a number of other factors - like our wonderful friends, who are in Melbourne, or the fact that Melbourne is more comfortable since we grew up there. On the other hand, here in Europe we have a great opportunity to travel and see the world and I'm closer to my parents geographically... it takes 8 hours to fly instead of 2 days.

Basically it's tough. Right now we are leaning towards staying here... but then later if we end up having kids, we'd both like to raise them in Melbourne. But that moment hasn't come yet, so right now it's not a consideration.

I guess one thing I want to say... this is less of a blog entry, but a cry to the world... sort of. ... what I want to say to all of you - our amazing, and loved friends and family - we do love you all, and this decision is even harder because of it. But in this time we're trying to find a decision that will be the "most right" for both of us right now in this point in time and for the next couple of years... We have kind of realised that whatever we'll decide, we'll regret something else and in this way, there isn't a right or wrong decision, or a decision with which we could be 100% happy.
I am not sure that I completely agree with this, but somehow I really liked this quote:

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." ~Flora Whittemore~

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you.

Thank you everyone who commented, emailed, or otherwise provided advice, support, just a word... you guys are great. And we love you all!!! In the meantime here's something from the student procrastinator:

According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:

Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson!

The little things that are called - life

I am not sure that I'm in the right state of mind to post this. I am not sure I am in the right state of mind to do anything right now - but as usual I can't sleep... mainly due to the huge amount of things going through my head. Noone's online at 0300 in the morning... making it a bit difficult to work out whether what's going on here makes any sense.

I'll just write a brief note to say that last weekend we've been to Denis's wedding in St Petersburg. It was really great. The wedding was completely beautiful... Vika is a wonderful person, and they both look amazingly happy together. Sasha is a little terror, but they both seem to somehow manage with her, so all's well. For us one of the best things was hanging out with Robert, Augustin and Kate over the couple of days that weekend. They are amazing people and it was really hard to say goodbye on Tuesday. This trip to Russia has been one of the very best, and staying up 'till 3am every night drinking and talking has certainly helped. We also managed a trip out to Tzarskoe Selo on the elektrichka (regional train), which came directly with wooden benches out of the post-war era... very funky. Fuck! I feel that this trip deserves a much better description and I'm not giving it enough justice... so I'll try again later.

The main problem is that we're now deciding whether we want to go back to Australia in the start of 2008 after all, and that's really difficult. There are so many things at stake and I'm not sure what the right thing is... and if there is one at all. Every time I chat/email with someone from back in Melbourne I feel that I want to be there. Yet here now I am finally doing the course that I want, and we're about to buy a place. Looking at house prices in Melbourne.. or even rent prices... it looks like we need to be making around $200000 to have a reasonable existence... it's crazy. I know that I'll miss Europe once we go back, but I also know that I'll miss Melbourne if we don't. It seems like such a fucking struggle to have learned this bloody language to just go back now... it feels like we'd be giving something up... but then there isn't anything holding us here. Apart from all the opportunities to travel, and "experience another culture"... but I feel like I've experienced it... Germans are great people but they are foreign... sure that may change in 5-10 years, but do I really want to spend this time here??? But then so many people in Australia are talking about coming to Europe that it seems like as soon as we get there, everyone will leave. I don't know what to do. We don't know what to do. This is the most stupid things of all - internet... I am posting this writing up in some space for someone to read, to react, not to react, to ignore, to laugh, to contemplate... but why?! why are people so far away?! Right now I wish I could pick up the phone and call someone... but I don't have anyone to call, everyone is busy, and mainly I haven't called anyone in ages (apart from parents), so I don't even know how one actually talks on the phone - what would I say? "hi, I'm confused and depressed - help"... sounds like instead of trying to become a psychologist I need one. I suppose I could always call my parents but I know what they'll say... Dad'll be "do the best thing that you think will make you happy." and Mum'll be "you should go back to Australia and have a bunch of kids"... yeah... great!

Anyway I'll stop whinging and may be try to get some sleep. Perhaps the weekend will clear things up... apart from the fact that in 5 hours we'll be on the train to Dresden going to Jack's cousins' wedding... I'm so sick of packing....

PS: I'm not sure that posting all this personal stuff was a good idea.

Is it really real?

Who knows, who cares it sure is an interesting idea. Especially if they get a seat....
http://senatoronline.com.au

O'zapft is!

So we did what every good tourist does in Germany in October and went to the Oktoberfest, actually it seems a few of the locals attend this shindig.
Matt and Julia managed to join us from Goode Olde Londone Towne as well which certainly added to the merriment.
Matt arrived Wednesday night and on Thursday we hired part of a car (the engine seemed to be missing) and had a bit of a look at the landscape around München. Days hightlights include:

• Two trips to Austria (one accidental, one deliberate)
• Beer straight from the Monk to You
• Various fairytale castles
• Amazing autumn landscapes

Friday we hung around waiting and waiting and waiting for Julia to arrive, luckily Lufthansa decided that they would deliver in the end, in the meantime we had to entertain ourselves so we sampled the local delicacies of Bier (Beer), Brezn (Prezels) and Radischen (Radishes). We also stuck our heads into the Bierzelten and fired up the locals a bit ;-)



And Saturday was the big one, drinking, eating, meeting people, showing that we have class or not as the case may be, shooting things (after drinking of course):



Oktoberfest Facts & Figures
6,7 Millionen Maß beer consumed (1 Maß = 1 L)
200,000 stollen Maßkrugs recovered from exiting patrons.
104 Oxen spat.
50 Lost children recovered, no stats on how many were given back though...
4400 Items found including 600 passports and creditcards, 220 mobile phones, three sets of dentures one set with gold teeth...

Prost!

It's all Eugene's fault!

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. In love, you are very protective and supporting. However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous. At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

Marvin: "Yeah I always thought you were bossy - taking away my pillow!"

Unix: "Protective and supporting?! *snif* whatever!"

Speaking about security of information

As many of you know I started using Facebook a couple of months ago, but got freaked out and only got back on it last week. And something ironic happened. While in Muenchen last Friday we were in an internet cafe to check our emails and I got this one from an online Concert Ticket shop:

"Sehr geehrter Kartenhaus-Kundin, sehr geehrter Kartenhaus-Kunde,

wir möchten Sie darüber informieren, dass wir vor kurzem entdeckt haben, dass Kartenhaus Opfer eines rechtswidrigen Angriffs auf seine Internetseite www.kartenhaus.de wurde. Durch diesen Angriff hat ein unbekannter Täter einige Ihrer persönlichen Informationen gestohlen. Wir haben leider Grund zu der Annahme, dass Ihre Kreditkarteninformationen, einschließlich der Rechnungsanschrift für Ihre Karte mit der Endnummer **** gestohlen wurden. "

What this basically says is that my credit card details that they have stored from my previous bookings have been stolen. I got pretty freaked out 'cos the limit on that card is fairly high. As soon as we got back yesterday I checked our bank status online and everything seems fine. But I'll still have to go and get a new card issued.

I mean it's good that they actually told me that this happened, but still. So perhaps my fears about people stealing all sorts of information are not so unfounded.