White man cant...

...Park

Germany has a car culture, they have autobahns, they have BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, VW, etc...
So what's the problem you say? Well the "car loving" folk haven't gone so far as to learn how to park.

Germans are supposed to be very precise but when it comes to parking "near enough is good enough". Not in the space - no worries... One wheel (or more) on the curb - she'll be right mate... Parking so as to block someone elses driveway - beuuuuty...

I enclose a small sample of examples for your amusement:

"I have gone further than you think and have pledged myself to the devil with my own blood, to be his in eternity, body and soul."

Or so said Faust to the Franciscan monk...

Now where were we? Ah yes - this post concerns the infamous city of Leipzig in the region of Saxony where we were over the weekend.

We arrived on the 10:05 ICE (Inter City Express) in hope to leave the annoying rainly weather behind in Berlin but unfortunately it has followed us. So the weekend was spent in the rain on Saturday and in extreme wind (and sometimes rain) on Sunday. Nonetheless it was very enjoyable.

The first thing that needs to be said for the city is that it is very quiet and almost deserted. It seems that 1989 has left a very big mark on this town. Everywhere outside the very centre there is a deserted building with missing windows. Almost every building has signs advertising for rent. And there are very few people on the streets... which feels very strange in comparison to some other european towns. This in contrast is combined with ultra-modern trams and newly refurbished walking paths and some very modern looking buildings... leaving a very mixed impression.

The centre of town is like any other small european town centre - lots of pretty old buildings, two pretty old churches, cobblestoned paths, windy walkways (my favourites), lots of small cute cafes, some tourists... and McDonald's. Nah, to be fair the centre in Leipzig is very nice and shopping streets have many tiny arcades that reminded us very much of Melbourne and the Royal Arcade off Bourke St.

We did a bit of touristy stuff - saw the Altes Rathaus (Old Townhall), went into the local art gallery - mainly 18-19 century german art, saw the insides of both churches - in one of which Jogann Sebastian Bach is buried, and we visited the Zoo. All the animals are extremely cute but it was a bit disappointing to see the zoo on a rather large area but most animals having small cages. Yeah ok I know - it would be better if all of them roamed out in the wild and were not caged in at all, but when they are in cages it's better that they are in good conditions, right?

The unfavourable weather conditions gave us a chance to explore some of the local food places and we went into Auerbach's Keller where a famous scene from Goethe's 'Faust' takes place. The restaurant is very cool - being in a large cellar and all... the food was great and there are depictions of the book on the walls and some statues of Faust and Mephistophel. We also ended up in an Italian joint that served us an amazing desert on Sat night, and having discovered that they do 100 types of pizza decided to come back there for Sunday night's dinner. This of course was a big mistake, as Germans know nothing of pizza... well let me rephrase that - they know about pizza base but don't know much about pizza topping. Thus Jack's order of "I want something like Caprizzosa dammit!" ended up being of a huge (about 70 cm diameter) base with some tomato sauce, 10 mushrooms, about 4 bits of salami and sprinked with un-pipt (sp?) olives :) My lasagna wasn't much better. So there - if you ever go to Germany don't order Italian!

On our trip back there weren't enough seats so we ended up with only one seat, but since the train ride was only barely more than an hour each of us only had to stand for about 30 mins. And we got to arrive at the new Hauptbahnhof which is apparently the biggest one in Europe and spreads over five levels... now I must say that the top level is not for those who don't like heights, 'cos the railings are made of glass and makes you feel rather vulnerable. In any case the building is totally cool! Not sure if it was on aussie news but during the grand opening of this trainstation last friday when there was a huge lightshow and fireworks some crazy 16 year old bloke ran around in the crowd stabbing people... we were at home watching the event from our balcony. The event being the fireworks and lightshow that is... not the stabbing... :D

And now to some evidence...

Having coffee at the Arabischer Koffee Baum (smth like the oldest coffee house in Europe)

St Nicolas's Church:
The inside of St Thomas's church (this is where Bach's grave is):

Next to our hotel and in front of a very commie school

The town in the evening

Playing 'I can also be a statue'












Neues Rathaus (New Town Hall)











The Zoo

Awww ...

We keep on getting these cute baby elephants with huge #(&$ :)

Very cute and fluffy








These things are incredibly cute but I don't know what they're called


Orangutans - my favourite!


This baby has no trouble doing the splits! :)








A very gorgeous peacock... why are they called that again?

You know you're a foreigner when...

I will do my best to give justice to this story, which is much better told in person, perhaps over a beer or two ... but nonetheless I will give it a try.

Some preface to start with... Right now I'm in the process of finding out how I can continue my studies here, which is a fairly involved process and Germans being who they are didn't attempt to make this any easier. Yesterday I went to the infamous Humbolt University (which taught such great minds of the last century as Karl Marx himself) in order to find a list of subjects in Psychology that I can take... this is contained in a certain book which has a name of no more and no less but 'Vorlesungsverzeichnis' which is a simple University Catalogue of Subjects.

And now to the story... after wondering through the many corridors of the nice university building on Unter den Linden (the main lovely street), I finally found the Student Information office... which of course was closed. With my "extensive" knowledge of German I managed to figure out that these Vorlesungsverzeichnis should be sold in the book-stand out the front of the building. So I ventured out there and looked through a whole heaps of different books, some of which included a full set of volumes by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin in russian, but since I had no idea what the book I'm looking for looks like I didn't find it. Thus me being me and not afraid of embarassing myself I looked around for the Verkaufer ie. selling person, and seeing only one guy behind the stall approached him....

me: Entschuldigung, koennen Sie mir bitter sagen, wo kann ich diese 'Voooorleeeeeesuuuuungs.....veeeeeerz*strange mumble* alkjdlkjsfkjlsj-nis' finden? (Excuse me, could you please tell me where can I find this Vorlesungsverzeichnis?)
The Guy: *trying very hard to contain laughter*... *points with his finger behind me*
me: *look behind me and see two stalls*... Ist das auf dem ersten Tisch oder dem anderer? (Is this on the first or second table?)
The Guy: *points again with his finger behind me, slightly lower this time*
me: *look behind again to see that right behind me there is a box, which is clearly marked "Vorlesungsverzeichnis €4 "... *so I turn around with an embarassed look on my face and say* danke (thanks)

.... after skimming through the book and deciding that I indeed want to purchase it, I take one from the box, get the money out and approach the guy again. He is standing reading a book, so I wait as normally they notice someone waiting and look up... After waiting for a little while and him not looking up I decide to try my amasing language again and say:
me: Entschuldigung, kann ich hier bazahlen? (Excuse me, can I pay here?)
The Guy: *looks up very slowly and then.... points behind me*!
me: *I look behind me and see another guy who is definitely the seller as he has a little wallet with change*... *so again I turn to this guy and smile*

Yep, I definitely felt like a foreigner yesterday :) However it was such a nice sunny day that my worries улетучились (flew away)... and after all it's these situations that make me think that I can survive here, 'cos in the end I got what I needed! In your face German Education System!

Walpurgisnacht

Walpurgisnacht is the traditional gathering of Witches etc... to have one last celebration before Spring defeats Winter - and as a timely token of the visit the Witchy one was in Berlin over the May Day long weekend.

We experienced a bit of Russian/German culture (some of which Polina has already described) here we see the fragile creature perched delicately on a weapon of war:














I mean the cute little bird on the end of the turret of course ;-p


And yet another Russian war memorial - the place seems full of them can't imagine why... This one was acutally very nice and peaceful. The lack of military paraphenailia certainly helps to set a more somber refelctive mood.

So that we didn't get completely depressed and misserable we also wandered down to Potsdam (another town that is kind of just out of Berlin, the local Gelong if you will).

The train was pretty empty on the way there.

And ended up in a little Russian Villiage which was built by King Fredrich Wilhelm III in 1826 as a memorial to "his mate" the Russian Zar Alexander I.

















Then it was off to Sans Souci Palace and the New Palace (yeah I know real imaginative naming) and a stroll through the gigantic gardens - "Oh luv, the lawns are getting a bit long can you mown them" "Sure luv, see ya next week".
















And which trip is complete without some molestation of the local statues and monuments?












These images proudly brought to you by "The Dude":

What does it all mean?

I mean really mean, when it all comes down to it....


So you're travelling along on a train and you see this sign.
It's not a bad sign as such, you glance at it and you think it makes sense, but then you think about it. At this point your mind turns into a very runny kind of cheese.
Is it implying that you should:
a. not throw anything out of the window
b. hit the window with a bowling pin
c. only throw brown bottles out of the windows
d. just farken confused


We'd love to hear your thoughts on this - as we sure as fark can't figure it out...

Gemmischt Impressionen (aka. Mixed Impressions)

Julia was briefly here for the 1st of May holiday... Jack's going to write more on that, but I'll just briefly mention our outing to get some Russian culture...

After having a look at where the notorious russian discos are in this vibrant city we settled on one titled 'CCCP' after which we planned to drop by another disco which was nearby in what's called Salon Tbilisi. CCCP was totally cool - it wasn't actually a disco as such, but more of a lounge with comfy chairs, non-offensive russian music and clips from various russian films projected on a wall... very relaxing and enjoyable. The crowd was also not your typical ruskies, but actually normal looking people, so we fitted in fine! :) Upon spending a good hour or two there there we decided to get some real dancing action and headed for the said 'Salon'. We had no trouble finding it and peered through the window curtains to see that it seems like a pleasant looking place, so we walked in... and walked straight out - because apart from the two bar staff the place was EMPTY. And I don't mean there weren't many people in there, I mean it didn't have a single soul in there! So instead we walked home and found a good code expression for all the orange looking people around - 'citrus', or 'Цитрусовый'.

While hanging out at home we've discovered that russian classifieds can provide great amusement and a topic for 'talking sh!te'... thus here are some pearls (NB: the words in BALD reflect original):

From the section Предлагаю Работу (Work on Offer):
"Перспективная группа ищет для "Шоу" танцовщицу, клоуна, стриптиз, рассмотрим предложения."
Trans: "An up-and-coming group is searching for it's "Show" dancer, clown, striptease, we'll exaine your proposals."

From the section Контакты (Contacts):
"Дам бесплатную информацию для 100 успеха в любом деле."
Trans: "Will give free information for 100% success in any project."

From the section Прочие Услуги (Other Services):
"Меняю женский парик (стрижка) - 250 € на пикинесса до 1 года. Доставка ваша."
Trans:"Will exchange a female wig (short cut) - 250 € for a pikiness dog up to 1 year old. You deliver."

And of course we shouldn't forget the Personals:
"Ищу до 45 лет женщину, которая верит душой и сердцем в Бога. Если такой человек позвонит мне, то он нашёл своё счастье, я перезвоню сразу."
Trans:"Looking for a woman up to 45 y.o., who with her heart and soul believes in God. If such a person calls me, then they found their happiness, I will call back promptly."

"Он, 39/80/185, ПМЖ, ищет единственную на всю жизнь, можно с ребёнком, не полную."
Trans:"He, 39/80/185, Permanent Residency, is looking for the 'one and only' for life, possible with a child, not fat."

"Он, 31, ищет его до 35, привлекательного. Сам красив, в постели просто sex-бомба."
Trans:"He, 31, is looking for him up to 35, good looking. Himself gorgeous, in bed a total sex-bomb."

Well I hope you enjoyed those as much as we did!

Unrelated thing that must be noted is the fact that here people play board games in bars and lounges... and usually there is a pretty good selection of these. Thus when Matt and Matt were here we were in Kaufbar (a very cool bar in Friedrichsain) and there were two girls who the whole night were playing scrabble and trivia pursuit... very cool.

Last but certainly not least... more Denglish from the IT world... a term 'gepimped' has been mentioned in a context of systems integration... :)